|Resources (DOG EAR)|
|Written by Administrator|
|Thursday, 21 May 2015 00:00|
ast night, while writing, I discovered just how powerful a tool the internet can be.
In the original Tubitz and Mergenstein, there was a scene where they attempt to conceal themselves in a small boggy port (where the idiotic inhabitants work long hours harvesting ferns used for animal fodder). Originally it was on a planet, now it’s simply a port in this sprawling fantasy world.
In the original, the bartender comes across as a “guy”. Nothing descriptive, nothing special. Speaks okay, other than the fact that it’s all nonsense about the pride in giving his money away and never cashing out. And it was fine – there were a couple of funny bits and the obviousness of the scam.
When I rewrote it, I wanted to beef things up, to give more effort to the imagery. And, with apologies to all those below the Mason-Dixon line, nothing comes across as dumb as a corn-pone white-trash accent. Look, my model train club is out in a little poor trailer community, and when we speak to the indigenous folks out there about the donut-burning on our grass, the crashing into our property while drunk, the thievery of a disabled member, and the numerous break-ins at the clubhouse, we always get those back-in-the-haller shucks and nobody-I-knows-dun-that lines. It’s a drawl so slow, you know it will never get anywhere.
But it really would work well for dumb-ass farmers that the count is – literally – breeding for stupidity.
I know some words, “this-n” and such. But I did find a couple of sites online that were a scream, ones that captured the essence of “Southern”, and not the Foghorn-Leghorn boisterous south (the ones calling for war against the Northern aggressors) but the ones (without slaves) who actually fought in it. I’d just look at the list, find a word I could use, then scan the dialog replacing all the incidents. In the end, I’ve got a doodle-bug bartender who is as dumb as a post. Perfect.
If it hadn’t been for sites like THIS, I’d have had to watch the entire six seasons of Justified again, just to get my ear wrapped around it.