kay, don’t dismiss this out of hand, but I got this book from a young (and sharp) kid who attends my Zen class. But, yeah, we both read a lot and we both like China Miéville so there’s that.

Anyway, The Nonexistent Knight is a delightful tale by Italo Calvino, written (I’m thinking) in 1950 or so (judging from the copyright). I’m going to make a guess and figure the entire point of this novel is to mock the ideas of chivalry, of knighthood, and the tales which speak worshipfully of them. We begin with King Charlemagne riding along his assembled army, reviewing the troops before their coming battle with the Moors. Before each knight, he pauses and has them open their armor’s visor to be recognized. But when he gets to Sir Agilulf, seated upon his stallion, all in white, we get our surprise. His armor is simply… empty. It still moves, speaks, performs great deeds and is a total pain in the ass in its righteousness and attention to knightly matters and camp duties. But it’s empty. And Charlemagne simply accepts this as point-in-fact.

As mentioned, Agiluif is a stickler for details and has nothing to do all night but inspect the camp, clean his armor, wander the picket lines and bother people. In combat, he is masterful. And in romance, he is quite dashing (he’ll say sweet nothings, compose poetry, complement his lover and spend the night with them – in the end, the woman has been so totally wooed that she quite overlooks the fact that they simply didn’t “do it” at all).

It is a young knight whom joins Charlemagne’s army that changes Agiluif’s life. Challenged to prove a woman he saved a two decades ago was a virgin (an act which won him the rank of knight), our empty armor goes on a quest that carries him first to England, and then to Moorish Africa, only assisted by his goofy squire and tracked by a female knight who lusts for him (as, aside from not actually being there, codifies every aspect of knighthood and manliness there is).

I had to say I really enjoyed this one – it carried along well and lightly spoofed the whole romantic concept of what a knight is (for the record, all the other knights in the army are nasty, dirty men of low moral character). So well done. Quite good. The author is Italo Calvino, and you should be able to dig up a copy!

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