o I was having one of those bad days – it’s taking forever to get surgery scheduled to get my cancer out and, yes, it freaks me out no end. I’d woken up early with a 5am panic attack and was now using the internet to try to distract myself. And that’s when, a couple of later, a friend (won’t say who) called to gripe about something trivial.

Pretty much my involvement in the call was to say “yes” and “no” and “I agree”, just making noises so they thought I was alive. But I’m listening to life’s small little problems flood into my ear and thinking, “Shit, how trivial.”

I finally broke the connection about an hour later (sigh) when instantly a second call come though. This time it was a model train buddy who wanted to grind out sausage about something at the club. Like the first call, it was a windbag blowing of trivial little bullshit that, with my own fears (and, literally, diseases) gnawing at me, I wanted to scream “Silence, wretch!” (or words to that effect). Another hour of “yup… yup… yup”, trapped in an endless flow of slights and shortcomings.

By the time that was done, I wasn’t in the mood for anything – my thoughts were dark, I was angry and frustrated, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about anything. The wife had already gone out with her pals. And so I decided to walk the short distance to Juniors, my favorite local restaurant, and have breakfast. Alone. With a good book.

I’m currently reading a wonderful scifi trilogy, The Three Body Problem, by Liu Cixin, a truly gifted writer. I’ve really enjoyed the thoughts and insights Mr. Cixin introduces. So, with a plate of scrambled eggs, a cup of steaming coffee, and a good book before me, I could feel the tension of assholes slowly bleeding out. And THEN I read the following, a Chinese joke…

“You know how the joke goes: On the way to the execution ground, a condemned criminal complained that it was going to rain, and the executioner said, ‘What have you got to worry about? We’re the ones who’ve got to go back through it!”