I love beetles. The first of the three cars I’ve ever owned was a yellow 73 superbeetle I took to the ends of the Earth (well, Irvine California, but I did the transcon in three days). So now I’ve got a 2000 New Beetle (again, yellow with distinctive bug-about-town bee’s knees). And the love, alas, is fading.

I understand that a car 11 years old is going to have problems. But there seems to be this airbag issue (due to a harness under the drivers seat). If you get the light, it’s a grand right out of your pocket. I’ve joked (with gritting teeth) that the illuminated little man with the bag puffed against him is actually a VW mechanic holding a bag of money.

But yes, this is the THIRD time this has gone out, and the third time I’ve pried a grand out of my wallet to fix it. And of course, I gotta fix it. What if it masks a serious failure in the airbag system? What if my wife flies through the windshield in an accident? So, Volkswagen’s holding the gun on me. Your money or your life.

You bastards.

Those new Fiats look pretty snazzy, don’t they?