ou might have read my piece from last week (if you didn’t, it’s HERE). In it, I blistered my company for not giving me recognition for an above-and-beyond assignment I worked on, and that thinking that a crayons-and-coloring-book seminar approach would settle things.
Of course, Serendipity is a cruel bitch. I went back across the street to the hotel we were attending for this thing, and that’s when the VP from my department got up in front of over a hundred coworkers and told a story of dedication and commitment and what it means. And suddenly he’s talking about me. In front of everyone. So, sure, crayons won’t solve angst, but if an egomaniac like myself suffers a broken arm, say something nice about me and watch me heal.
But that left me in an odd position. Leave it in place (and look like an ingrate) or remove it. In the end, I decided to leave it up. Look, this blog is a seat-of-the-pants deal, explaining how I feel in the moment. If I cleaned up everything that at one time pissed me off, I’d have a monotone voice. Part of who I am is my own reaction to the conflicts, the betrayals and the stupidities I face every day. So, yes, I’m pretty much covered now. I got the respect I demanded. But for months, not a single thing had been said. No trophy. No plaque. No handshake. So in my mind, my company earned the anger I felt. It’s done now, but a week again, an hour before my assentation to Narcissist Heaven, it was the world I was in.
Writing can be this way. You have to look at anything you write from two angles. First, are you writing in the anger of the moment? If so, maybe you need to step back for a moment and reconsider. Resignation letters and bomb threats aren’t as easy to take back as blog postings. Even email has a permanency. But on the other side of the coin, perhaps your passion is a good thing. Sometimes waiting for things to get better and burying your opinion isn’t the best thing. Hitching the horses of Anger, Despair, Depression and Angst to your cart can really carry your writing far. You just need to know how far to go, who to hurt, and when to stop.
Write with your heart, not your head.