knew this was going to happen. And sure enough, it did.
Was at a local bookstore and picked up a little self-published tome (it’s sooooo easy to self-publish now).
And what have I said about writers who can get published nice and cheap?
It’s why I don’t like people without training (or sense) getting hold of firearms. Some writers simply are not qualified to be published.
First off, he didn’t seem to check his pagination and word-flow. Right-justification can really cause some issues, ones that might need manual correction. So occasionally you’ll see three words on a line, floating on the paper void like forlorn spaceships. Chapters ended with a few short words on the left page, leaving a desert of white emptiness to cross. Just really sloppy. You know, you need to look over the finished product (even in PDF format) for eyeball-breakers like these.
And then there is the use of commas. Clearly, the writer didn’t understand their use and should never have been issued them. Where I have a problem with too many, this guy scrimped. His primary fault is commas around names. “Use a comma Frank.” See? That’s just wrong. Every so often, he quietly acknowledged their correct use and got it right. Maybe one in ten, but it was strangely inconsistent.
And then there are the real boners. Like this: “Your out of you’re mind!” He bunted a double here. I almost put this book down on this shabby sentence.
Perhaps a lightning-crackle story could have saved this. Perhaps I shouldn’t have read this following a Hemingway novel. But this was like driving down an interstate at 80mph and suddenly hitting a rutted dirt road. The characters acted like fourteen year-olds, all posturing and pointing guns and sucker punching each other. Impotent snarling and vows to make all the bad guys pay only go so far. Conversations lurched from erotic to weepy-sad to vengeance-vowing, all across one short page.
This book was so bad, it should have had a biohazard stamp on it. And since I have vowed not to trash horrible writers in my reviews, I’ll have to damn it with faint praise when I finally get around to reviewing it.
But I knew this was going to happen. Give hacks access to semi-automatic word processors and soon enough the ink is going to spatter like blood.
P.S. Just finished it last night. Decided, for the first time in RobertRaymond.com history, I’m not going to review a book. Yeah, this one was so bad, I don’t trust myself to say ANYTHING about it. I’m tempted to blurt out the title here, but I don’t even want to take that chance. If you do want a warning, contact me offsite (contact information is available to the left) and I’ll tell you the name and author. Ugh. I’m still retching….