veryone has that dream that a rich uncle you barely knew you had dies and leaves you with something. Well, Charlie is a sad little guy, a booted business reporter turned substitute teacher, living in his late father’s house until his siblings from an earlier marriage can get  him turfed. All he wants to do is buy and run the pub his dad enjoyed so much but without any credit, he’s sunk.

But then his uncle dies.

And it turns out his uncle is … a villain. Not just a bad guy but a Bond-class villain. The whole thing – a private island. Billions in the bank. Tentacles in many different businesses. He’s even got a ray gun that can shoot down satellites. So Charlie has it made, right?

Well, with great power comes… great enemies.

Turns out Jake (said uncle) made a lot of enemies amongst the other villains. It becomes evident to Charlie when a guest at Jake’s funeral attempts to stick a knife in the corpse just to make sure he’s dead. And then Charlie’s house blows up. Yes, this isn’t the life Charlie thought money would bring him.

But it’s funny, the interplay between these other villains (who come off as second- and third-generation idiots) and our hero. Some of the dialog is laugh-out-loud funny (and pretty raw in places, loaded with F-bombs) (and, without too much spoilers, the sentient dolphins are the worst at it). I really liked clueless villains attempting to organize a zoom call. So Charlie has to walk a fine line between having a pulse and not-so, keeping one move ahead while he tries to figure out what to do and who to trust in this world where every villain strokes a cat and every government turns a blind eye to the proceedings.

Make sure, if you read it, to look for the short story hidden behind the author’s afterwards. It really put a cherry atop the story. Worth a read. Trust me. This one’s by John Scalzi.

And if you like cats, this is extra funny!

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