“So, my good Watson, allow me to explain how I deduced Lord Witherwank was behind this entire deplorable affair… I say, Watson, are you listening?”

“Eh, Wot, Holmes? Sorry, was rather involved in my medical journals.”

“But I was explaining my most recent case. And you aren’t even listening.”

“I say, Holmes; I am not some sort of…. literary foil for you to explain things to. I am a doctor, with other responsibilities.”

“But Lord Witherwank… The stolen jewels… The comb missing but a single tooth…”

“Oh, grow up, Sherlock. I can’t always be here as an audience to your cleverness…”

Terrible, right, to have something to say and nobody to say it to? Well, turns out while we were in London, our credit card was hacked. And I knew exactly where – an Italian restaurant just east of Piccadilly Circus (I won’t give the shithouse’s name). Nice enough meal after our play but when it came time to pay, I gave them my card and they bolted into the back with it.

Now, we’ve been hacked twice last year and its a royal pain to get the new card. So this time, in London, I’d been very careful not to give away my card. In restaurants, it’s very common for them to run your card at the table. This time they didn’t. It was the only place I lost sight of my card.

And by New Years, there was $4500 extra charged on the card from local London locations.

So I called Visa, intent on telling them exactly who (my dear Watson) had lifted our card. I even checked Trip Adviser and saw someone else had posted this same warning. So I called and the nice man gave me their “fraud line” which turned out to be Fairwinds (our issuing bank). I explained to the bank the entire deal and the rep gave me another number, and hoo-boy, I was back in the Visa queue. All in all, the two institutions refered me back and forth five times. And even when I told them I’d just come from the other place, they’d send me right back. I was so mad, I did the automated survey of the final rep and goose-egged him. Left a detailed reason, along with a home number.

So, did Visa call? No. They just decided to suck up the $4500, charge me big fees, and make me wait ten days for a new card.

Gee, thanks, Visa and Fairwinds. Great service.

It’s enough to make me want to Occupy.