I’ve always been insulted by modern ads which show white, middle-aged men as man-children, always seeking base pleasures, slow to react, stupid to the point of retardation. As advertisements cannot go after women, minorities, or anything else, they focus on guys. Men will grunt with pleasure before a beer,  a chicken-wing, a big-screen TV.

Nobody can be that stupid.

Now I’m not so sure.

Since I haven’t been able to ride recently, I went out on my old ten-mile loop tonight, up and around to Rollins, then down Cady way to the house. It’s a nice ride. How much stupidity can one see during a short late-night hour on moonlit streets?

How about….?

A woman riding around Lake Sue, taillights, no headlights, no helmet or gear, going 8mph or so. Yet when she got to the low speed bumps, she suddenly turned diagonally to them to cushion the shock. Which meant she turned right out in front of me, even after I called “On your left!”

A car in the Rollins parking lot started to come out onto the street, saw my headlight, hesitated, then pulled out anyway. I must have looked like a train bearing down at him, my light shining right into his eyes. Veered off at the last section – do not deny me my simple pleasures.

A cyclist on the sidewalk on Aloma, tail light, not other lights or gear, black clothing, dawdling. I dropped down onto the street to get around this wobble-obstacle.

A motorist on the back road west of Lakemont who hit me with his high beams from 100 yards out. On. Off. On. Off. Like the beam of a warship’s searchlight, as Herbert George would say. I think he was trying to make sure I saw him. Yeah, I saw you. I close my eyes even now and I can see you.

A huge pickup that had to accelerate around me on the back side of Winter Park hospital and damn near took out a center pedestrian post.

On Cady way, several pedestrians making a point to walk in the riding lanes, black clothing, no brains.

On Cady way, a cyclist in black, no lights, no nothing, on his cell. The trail goes through slow curves and he was taking each apex, side to side. Went past him on the outside.

And, when I thought I was home free, on my own street, a guy in a black shirt and camo pants, walking a black dog.

Yeah, you guys are really, really stupid.

Now go buy a chicken wing or a big screen TV.