consideration I’d never had before – the environment of your train room.

When I was fifteen or so (and since it is my birthday today and I am sixty-six, that was effing fifty-one years ago), my dad and I built a moderately large HO layout in our Cincinnati basement. In the winter, the floors and walls were icy and the air cave-cold. I remember crawling under the layout to wire (thanks, Dad. I see your guile only now) on the stone-chilled floor, my joints stiff and my hands, ass and knees numb. So yes, your environment means a lot.

Recently we of Florida have had two hurricanes, a lot of moisture, hot days and then an arctic cold snap. And the Florida East Coat railroad we run occupies two sheds (thin sheds). Apparently this affected the quarter-century-old circuits and such, all sorts of expansion, contraction, dirt and cold on tiny little chips. And this resulted in crazy signalling occurring. And this isn’t good, not on a railroad famed and dependent on CTC control, with a bumper crowd of holiday operators. The stage was set, as they say.

Signal test: What does it mean if you have red/yellow/green above yellow/red? Answer in the text. (Photo by Zach B)

But the opening act was 212, the first train out of the yard that somehow got derailed before it even moved. Smiling Jack was in the cab – I was in my natural element at the panel. Set him out to Palm Bay with deft expertise (brag brag) and he started to roll. And stopped. First it was his engines. Then each car. And then he lost cars at the crossover (which I usually monitor but was cutting clearances out  to all five starting trains and missed it). He came out at Palm Bay – no train. I had to back him in (while trying to push-button the radio while reaching behind the panel to rerail his scattered cars). Finally got him moving, but that shot my composure for what was to be a very decomposing session.

As we continued, I started getting calls from crews (mostly Bruce, who knows the business of running trains). Signals we coming up wonky. Multiple lights lit. It was beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I think some of the crews actually called these displays in but some of them just decided that, hey, there was a green among the illuminated constellation and that counted and continued.

Worst for me was the failure of two critical signals – the last signal north of Titusville remained red so I had to tell every crew to proceed past it. And additionally, the signal south out of Palm Bay (a mainline signal that held trains from running into my yard) would show green when the panel displayed red (the default-lever state). We had two or three trains run into the yard (and, specifically, into engines waiting on the departure track). There were more recriminations that the Soviet General staff over violated signals and before we realized that everything from Palm Bay to Pinetta was dubious. By the end of the session, I was dutifully setting signals while instructing my crews to the limits of their authority. So yes, rough session.

The brakeman-view when you finish switching Pinetta yet miss grabbing the handrail as the train pulls out. (Photo: Zach B)

To make things worse (not that I wasn’t having a good time, in a sort of roller-coaster-screaming sort of way) was that someone skipped the session (even though host Ken had been nice enough to schedule trains for all). This meant that we were constantly short of crews, trains we coming out late (a fact Kyle was good enough to comment on in amusing sarcasm), and things were more confused than ever. I was barely able to hold to the registered meets. Worse, Ken had to man the trim job that our absent reprobate failed to show for, meaning that every little thing that went wrong meant he wasn’t trimming. This resulted in trains stacking up for entry (I can’t bring a train in if the arrival track is occupied – the signals won’t permit it (and this is a session where the signals were quite permissive)). At one point, I had four movements waiting at Palm Bay to come in.

Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention my own contribution to this general chaos – Ken was trying to work trim and I couldn’t get an arrival signal to toss. I pushed and pushed that button and no luck. Finally I had to whine “Ken….” (like “Robert, Robert” is used at the club). Ken turned away from trying to clear the arrival track to see that my arrival signal wouldn’t clear because… the arrival track was occupied. Trust me, this was a stupid mistake made worse that it used up some of Ken’s rapidly declining patience. My shame was complete. Total first-timer mistake and I am forever shamed by it.

I did my best to help reduce his problems, including climbing into the Titusville helix three times to help Greg’s train along. My monitors were out for most of the session and I just stayed quiet about it. I know Ken was facing a very difficult session overall and I feel for him. The only thing I did notice is that when his signal system fails, everyone is respectful and contrite. When the Tuscarora signals went down, it was cause for merriment and laughter. Maybe, in retrospect, I need to adapt a grim no-shit-accepted persona like Ken/Thor has, and make my operators fear me rather than like me. Who knows.

Still, the session was pretty good overall and worth the trip out. I should have mentioned that our hosts (both Ken and Bev) provided us with an extensive holiday lunch which was a very nice gesture (on the Tuscarora, it’s only a bag of last-minute Walgreen’s oreos). And doing railroad-talk with some of the operators was a joy, specifically Bruce and mainly Steve, who could sling the lingo. I loved reading my train order to Steve and having him respond in the correct methodology. But really, the entire crew was great, dealing with a wonk-signaled railroad and coping rather than complaining. Yes, it was difficult and I probably should have shifted to issuing track and time rather relying on a bank of questionable signals. In retrospect, I should have turned it into a random event (which it was) and put the railroad back on its feet rather than engaging in defined insanity. That was for me to make better and I did not do so.

So while Ken is probably on suicide watch and I’m categorizing my sins on the blog, I’ll still say that it was a fun session. That we got all the way through it, to the very end, is a testament to the the crews and hosts.

Thanks, Ken and Bev!

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The gun deck, where crews stick to their jobs amid the twinkling Christmas lights the CTC had become (Photo: Jim M)

What might look like a scene from “Hunt for the Red October” is actually “Hunt for the Red Signal”. (Photo: Steve H. Inability to switch dispatching methods: Jim M)