f the club has a motto for operations, it’s “Work it out on the ground”.

Last night, it was more like “Wring it out of the Clown” with West-Side Dispatcher as the clown. Another “Have a beer when I get home” night at the old clubhouse.

So the session started out well enough. We were running an LV Interchange train, a run that  we’ll see if we can keep up with it. It’s a bit time-challenged but yes, it might work. But I’d talked things out with the locals (Mingo and Zanesville) and made a pinky promise with 927 (ZV) to run fast – he’d be facing Silver Bullet 2 and his authority ended really soon (1:45 am or so). But he made it, getting into Zanesville’s industrial spur and neatly meeting 202 and Silver Bullet 2. Nice and slick.

Reefer Block X741 changes dispatchers at Red Rock while a dark and sinister train glides beneath him in “The Enemy Below” fashion (Photo: John DV)

The problem began when he was working Zanesville. I don’t know what the rush was to get the auto racks (152) out but since they no longer meet any counterpart, we could have hold them about 10 (real) minutes and everything would have been dandy. But it was Go-Go-Gadget-Racks and everyone was snapping at everyone else.

The critical thing here was that 927 (Zanesville Turn) had finished up and moved on to Carbon Hill to work Champion Mine. All good and well. But he left some spare cars at the bottom of the GM ramp, blocking (kinda maybe) the auto plant and 152. My first question was – didn’t you guys work it out on the ground? Both engineers were right there. All the departing turn had to do was push the cut east of the GM turnout and 152 could have built on the siding (heck, I could have even given him the main). But suddenly it was a crisis; I had people showing me phone pictures (a phone is the size of a tarot card and, honestly, I didn’t know what I was looking at). And I had both 152 and 927 arguing with me and each other about where things were (Anyone remember It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world where Spencer Tracy has his wife on one line, his daughter on the other, and he holds the phone cradles together so they can scream recriminations at each other?). And, honestly, I still don’t know what was going on.

I had to do something – this crazy underwear-twister was tying up all my attention. John W came back in the office, having run helpers off the hill to help 152 up (did I mention that the racks were going to think-I-can it up the hill behind one engine?). In preparation for the disappointment of traction effort, we’d moved the helpers down to the Shelfton cutoff, and John was free.

“I need you to conduct for 152”, I told him – John’s a cool operator who didn’t peep at all when he’d just ran down through two stations, under two different dispatchers to position spare power at the base of the hill. He nodded and took a warrant from me.

The “FU Kyle” move (as Zach coined it) – 152 shoves cars to Carbon Hill before performing his run-around (Photo: Jude S)

So with no idea WTF was going on, I told 152 to back down the slope, building his train as he went. All I knew was that he could hook up and push the cut clear. His orders were specific – shove them over to Carbon Hill (freight cars on the nose, towing an entire rack train on the rear) and push the freight cars down the coal ramp on top of the now-indignant turn. Then, as the plan was, the racks could run around at Carbon Hill main & siding and off they’d go.

In retrospect (the next morning, when I woke up in the gutter) I realized that yes, 152’s single engine could have EASILY pushed the cut into the drill track. Just like our missing first class passenger train, this seemed like an obvious move that was missed by damn-near everyone. And second, I should have just ordered 152 to push the cut clear of the Zanesville/Carbon Hill tunnel and leave them on the main. Then 927 (who was about to come back) could return to Zanesville under restricted speed and push his cars back to where they’d been, with 152 now clear and running east. But no, I did it (in retrospect) the hard way. As Zach said post-session, this whole ideas was my “FU Kyle” move. Hey, I didn’t have time for a battle-plan. I had to get the racks out.

It still would have worked clean. Carbon Hill is a quiet town at the far west end of the Western subdivision. 152 could dump the troublesome trucks down the coal lead, making it 927’s problem, run around neatly on the high main and Bob’s your uncle. Everything was coming up roses.

“X505 Passenger East, Cincinnati, calling for a warrant.”

“X300, Also a Passenger East, Cincinnati, calling for a warrant.”

“244, Cincy, with you.”

And meanwhile, I had 223 (Runaway Mike) and 95 (Running Late Logan) coming West to pass at Mingo. I hadn’t been paying attention to them, having been focused on three new eastbounds coming up on the well-shaken 152. After determining that the racks were back in the siding, I cleared all three of them (X505, X300 and Turn 927) east towards Martin. 152 would follow (I think that’s the order I ran them). 244 would go into the siding for now.

And THEN I realized that X505 and 95 were running towards each other with overlapping warrants.

In short, I called them and got them stopped (whew). Then I had Logan’s 95 back up (slick move, Raymond) into Wierton. And now that the main was clear, we ran the parade east. Everything sorted out after that.

When not crashing trains, Leonard used AI to make amusing pictures. Maybe we should use GPC Chat to dispatch? (AI Generation: Leonard J)

Of course, after I nearly killed Logan, he went on to live a full and satisfying life for a couple of scale hours, only to perish when he collided with X300 up in Harris Glen. I mean, how could he miss seeing Pete? With a shirt that loud, it was like he had permanent flag protection. Poor Pete – he’s the butt monkey of cornfield meets. Shortly afterwards, he just missed crashing into a train exiting Calypso. East-side Leonard and I were just waiting for it to happen and it didn’t. It was a miracle. More likely the loud shirt. Possibly we should consider getting those for the operators, not the yellow vests.

Anyway, regardless of the griping from the many paragraphs above. we had a great session. Everyone appeared to have a good time, the delays weren’t too bad (let’s ignore every bit of evidence to the contrary I’ve blogged above). Leonard did a stellar job on the East Side panel and Bob and Jeff kept the main yard running. Steve B ran Calypso yard well (we’re still toying with that – I’ll ask what people think at the operations report next week). There were other unsung heroes who stepped in and helped others; thank you very much for supporting club ops. And for those deep-set operation stains, we had Big John C, road superintendent, who could fix issues and bust heads as needed. Frank C cleaned up the Steel Mill and got everything running. Even the new interchange train off the Lehigh (we haven’t figured a clever name for it yet) did its inaugural run with Phil D’s hand on the throttle.

Great session. Great fun. And yes, while I did have a beer when I got home, I silently toasted our session, our near-misses, and, of course, Pete’s technicolor dreamcoat.

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(And if I “miss-remembered” anything, my apologies. I do my best)

X300 East (one of many) eases into Pittsburgh Station.The damage doesn’t look as bad from out here. (Photo: Pete F)

The LM&O Bridge Route sees traffic from as far away as Nottingham (Photo: Kyle S)